Hi everyone and welcome back to my adventures in online dating. I decided to pick myself up and dust myself off after a few weeks of horrible luck with women. I would like to think that I have now had enough bad dates and unpleasant experiences to last me a lifetime. I am hoping that all the girls I talk to from now on end up being cool and not crazy etc. I have been out on a couple of dates since then and they weren't bad. One of them was pretty good so I will tell you about that one in a minute. The other ones well lol, I dunno what is wrong with me. I mean I am a decent looking guy and I am often described as being "handsome" but no one ever calls me "hot". So I am a handsome looking guy and I got a decent body shape and stuff I am lean and muscular a bit, I am totally not overweight or anything. So I meet these girls online and they like what they see in my pictures so they talk to me and then we meet and stuff but that is where it seems to die. I am starting to feel like I have the shittiest personality in the world. Someone once described my personality as dry and maybe he is right.

The problem is that I have no idea how I would begin to go about changing my personality. Is something like that even possible at my age, or at any age for that matter. I know it is POSSIBLE for people to reinvent themselves, I mean anything is possible usually according to Les Brown who I listened to the other day and I have to say I really enjoyed listening to him. The content of what he was saying was awesome and I like the sound of his voice and his demeanor. I am going to watch some more videos of him on youtube later. It is great motivation and great for self confidence. That is another thing, I do not lack confidence when I am out with women in person. Some of you may be thinking that perhaps i act like a little bitch when I am out with these girls but I can assure you that is not the case. I am always confident and laid back, I just think it is either my attitude or something about my personality that seems to drive away some women. I am going to try and google this and see if I can learn anything about me that perhaps I can adjust the next time I go out on a date with someone.

So lemme tell you about the one good date I had in the last couple of weeks. I met this girl online through the online dating site named Melissa. She is a bit younger than me and she has very big natural tits. I have to put that in there because she is a thin lean girl with monster juggs to be precise. I spent most of the night fantasizing about sucking on her titties if I am honest. She is a nice girl and doesn't seem to be too jaded or have a bad attitude. I have met quite a few of those women lately. So anyways I told her to meet me at this cool little coffee shop here called Badass Coffee down on 86th street. The name of the place is awesome! I told her to meet me there at 4pm so I arrived early like I always do around 3:45 but she was already there! She totally beat me to the punch! I went over to the table and she stood up and shook my hand and I was like hmm handshake, interesting. We grabbed some coffee and then chatted for a few hours. I felt like things were going pretty well and she was smiling a lot and laughing at my jokes. I wanted to move the date over to a restaurant but she said she had to go for some reason but it seemed legit so I was like ok peace out biatch and then we shook hands and left. I think it went well and I am going to go out with her again tonight, but this time we are going for dinner.

Hi everyone and welcome back to my blog. Let me bring you up to speed on what has been happening in the last few weeks. That girl I was seeing named Sarah, she never ended up working out. She sent me some weird messages and then said something random about an ex and that I was too much like him and she still wasn't over him and blah blah blah I think it is all lies that is the thing about women that I can not stand the most is that they are almost never honest about stuff when they don't want to see you anymore. They just make up some shit that makes no sense just to piss you off even more when the reality is that they are probably sucking on some other dude's dick the whole time. Anyways so yeah if you can tell I am a bit jaded lately. That isn't to say that I haven't been having any luck because I have. Like I said in my last blog entry, I don't have all my chickens err eggs in one basket stupid analogy but it's true what can I say... so yeah I mean I have been meeting girls and I have gone on a few dates but none of them have really been that good. I wanted them to be but sigh what can I say. Sometimes things just don't go as we plan now do they.

So lemme tell you about this date I went on so you can see where I am coming from with all this shit. I met this girl her name is Cindy and she is 30 years old. She seemed really cool from everything I read on her profile and from the conversations we had on MSN and also on the phone. She seemed cool and normal when I talked to her on the phone. I mean it is really hard to tell where someone is coming from when you just talk to them on MSN because you can't hear the sound of their voice and you can't really tell how fast their internal pace is etc. I do not like hyperactive people because I am such a chilled out guy and that is something you can usually tell once you talk to someone on the phone, or so I thought. So yeah I talked to her on the phone and she seemed totally normal and calm and shit. We talked actually for a few hours one night and I definitely liked what I saw from her pictures in her online profile so I thought I would be good to go once we met. I told her that we should meet for coffee first. I told her to meet me last Saturday at 3pm at this cool coffee place here in the city called Monon Coffee Co.

The place is pretty cool and I didn't mean to but I ended up arriving like 10 minutes early so I just grabbed a coffee and went and sat down and found a newspaper to read. Normally I don't ever read the newspaper because well I have a computer lol and the information is more up to date. The other thing I don't like about newspapers is the fact that all the ink rubs off on your hands and then you need to find a washroom or somewhere to wash your hands and that sucks. So anyways, I was sitting there reading the newspaper and got sidetracked reading an article when all of a sudden someone was standing in front of me. It was her, so I quickly rose and shook her hand. She looked really good and I was really excited and in a good mood. I told her to go grab a coffee and come back. So we sat there and talked about a lot of stuff for a couple of hours. It was nearly 6pm and I thought that we had a great conversation, I mean I was laughing the whole time and it was nice to look at her and she wasn't looking away or being shy and I thought she liked me so I said to her that we should continue this conversation over dinner. That was when she said, I think you are a really nice guy, but I don't think you are my type but thanks for coffee, shook my hand, then got up and left. I just sat there dumbfounded for about 5 minutes. That is the kind of luck I have been having lately sigh.

I met this really nice girl named Sarah. She is 27 years old so she is only a little bit younger than me. I seem to live girls that are between 27 and 30 now. I seem to think that girls over the age of 30 look old and Cougarish. I am a bit of an immature personality myself so I think it balances out when I am with a girl that is younger than me. She works at the hospital as a registered nurse. I really don't ask too much about her job because hospitals creep me out and I don't like being there or talking about them or thinking about them. She is really nice though and we had been chatting all week last week and then finally she agreed to go out with me on friday night. I spent Saturday shopping and chilling with some friends and stuff but I will tell you about the date I went out with her on Friday because it was fun and I had a good time and I am so happy that I have something positive to report here on this blog.

I picked her up at 6:30pm and we headed over to this place called Rick's Cafe Boatyard. It is not fine dining or anything, it is really down to earth place and that is the kind of environment that I wanted to have so that there would not be any pressure on her and she could relax and I could really get to know her. We sat down ordered some food and then we both ordered beer and I asked her what kind of beer she liked and she said Stella Artois and I was like me too so we both ordered one each. We sat and talked and she was really shy and kept looking down and playing her her hair. I thought it was cute and eventually toward the end of the night and after a few more Stella's she started to look me in the eyes more but I was like grr stop looking away. We had some coffee and I paid the bill and we were standing outside of the restaurant and we were talking about something random and she was looking away so I reached up and touched her cheek and told her to look me in the eyes when she talks to me and she just froze or a moment and then I moved in and kissed her.

We drove back to her place and she asked me if I wanted to come up for a drink. It was like straight our of a movie type shit. I didn't think anyone ever actually rolled like that and there it was happening. It was very cool. It was like in the movies when criminals go to see each other and they are all like hey want a drink, or get joey a drink and the drink they always get them is like straight whiskey or scotch in a small tumbler usually neat with no ice. It is like lol who drinks like that. Why do they never ask for something else, they just take whatever the guy gives them. At any rate, I digress as I am wandering off on another tangent here. I went up to her place and she made me a drink - it was vodka and orange juice just in case you were picturing a short tumbler with some straight scotch in it heh. We made out on the sofa for a bit, nothing too heavy and then eventually I left. I have been chatting with her on almost a daily basis on the phone. I really like her but I am still talking to a few different girls anyways in case this one doesn't work out. I can't put all my eggs in one basket.

Hi everyone, I am back after a one month hiatus. My father became very ill and I had to fly back and spend time with him and help him because he had no one. I put this whole online dating thing on hold during that time. Unfortunately he passed away last week. He had cancer and things had been up and down for the last 10 years or so but I knew that at any point he could become very ill and pass away shortly after that. I am still dealing with that whole issue but it has also made me think about my own life. My parents got a divorce when I was 20 years old and the time they were together they really weren't very happy. They weren't a good match for one another. Somewhere along the line, someone didn't use good judgment.

It made me realize that I really do want to be happy and to have someone awesome in my life with me. I believe that this girl is out there and now I am determined to find her and to be happy unlike my father was. I do not want to make the same mistakes he made. I already wasted the last 3 years of my life with a woman that wasn't right for me. Wasted time here is the thing I want to avoid. This isn't the first time I have been through something traumatic in my life and every time something like this happens I use it to motivate myself to be happier. Usually it doesn't last but I am hoping that this time it will.

As far as the online dating goes I have sent a message to each of the girls that had messaged me before telling them what happened with my father and also something very pointed about what kind of girl I am looking for etc. We will see if any of them decide to reply. I think I am going to have to start from scratch. I do have some random incoming messages I got from girls over the last 30 days and I messaged them as well but I think I need to look through the site at the new girls that have joined in the last week because there are lots of new girls that join everyday and pick through them and send them each a message like I did the first time around. I am going to do that tonight maybe. I am really tired and worn out from this whole thing and I think I need a few more days of sleep before I will be back to feeling somewhat normal.

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog. I definitely have some news to report. I have received back some messages from some of the girls that I messaged the other day. So far there is nothing really profound that has come in. Mainly they have been saying thanks for the compliment and then ask me some kind of question. I also am getting comments on how I look. Like I said, most women find me attractive. I am not trying to be cocky or anything that is just what enough people have told me in my life so I believe it now. So far I am enjoying myself and I definitely see the potential in some of these girls. The girls that I decided to send messages to are all girls that are listed as being employed and they are the girls that appear to be self sufficient which is what I want. If you recall I mentioned that I need to find a woman that is not going to be a burden to me and not going to be codependent.

There are more women out there that are not independent. Independence is not something that is bred in our society. The media pursuades young women to not be independent. There are still a lot of women out there that are clinging to outdated morals. I am not looking for that kind of woman. I need a woman who is already happy with her life and doesn't need a man to "complete her". There are a lot of things in these girls profiles that are red flags to me. For starters if I see the word fate then I immediately run in the opposite direction. People who believe in fate are doomed from the start and they lack the intelligence that I seek to keep company with. These are usually the same kind of people who believe in horoscopes and psychics. I do not care how attractive a woman is if she has these beliefs. I am looking for a down to earth logical woman who is probably also an atheist. I am not saying I won't date a religious woman but she would have to be pretty hot and still down to earth. There IS women out there who are down to earth but still believe in God.

I do not believe in God at all. I am an atheist and a realist. I Know that I will probably only be happy with a girl that is like minded. I feel sorry for people that do not share the same beliefs as me. I know this may some arrogant but I don't care. I only care about my own happiness and I wil do whatever it takes to maintain that happiness. If this means being cold and calculated then so be it. I have met so many people in my life that are not happy and they don't do anything to make themselves happier.

I did get a few random messages from some girls who were clearly checking out my profile. They are all like you are so hot and you have such a hot body etc. I can already tell that these girls are just simply that... girls. They are not successful, independent women so I know I would be wasting my time unless I just wanted to use them for sex and that is not how I roll. I didn't always think like this, certainly not when I was in my early twenties. I was more of a dog back then and I was very selfish and immoral. Now that I am older, and I have learned from my mistakes, I see things totally different. I have watched my selfish and immaturity hurt other people in the past and the guilt I felt from those actions overwhelmed and changed me ultimately.

I may be going on a bit of a rambling rant here, I just want all my readers to know that I am not a douche bag and that I have very clear cut morals now and I try and live by them. I respect people that have a code and live their life according to their code. It takes a lot of discipline which again is something I did not have a lot of when I was young. I don't know many people that DO have a lot of discipline when they are young and the other thing is that not all adult are able to shed those bad habits and they carry them into childhood and it impairs them.

My name is Justin and I would like to welcome you to my blog. I am a single guy living in Indiana and I am 32 years old. Three months ago my girlfriend and I broke up. It was not a messy breakup. We were together for 3 years and we just both felt like we were getting distant and weren't really suited for each other. Luckily I wasn't dumb enough to move in and life with her. So here I am single again. I read an interesting article in GQ Magazine a month ago about Internet dating sites and it got me to thinking that maybe the kind of girl that would be suitable for me would be someone who would use an Internet dating site. So decided to take plunge and dive in with both feet. This week I joined an online dating site and I also created this blog so that I could share my experiences with the rest of the world.

I am a cable installer for the largest cable company here in Indianapolis. I am the guy that comes over when you order Internet access or digital phone etc. It is an interesting job and I get to meet new people everyday. People are usually in a good mood when I show up because it means they are about to get access. I am not the guy that comes by when something is wrong. I always have interesting stories about being in strangers apartments and I have to tell you that I have learned a lot about people from doing this job for the last 7 years. I make pretty good money and the hours I work are decent. I like to workout at the gym 4 times a week and I am pretty muscular now. I don't have a problem attracting women in real life, but I think I want to try this Internet dating route because I think I can learn more about a girl before I actually meet her. This way I can prequalify women and make sure I am only going out with women that could be good potential long term candidates.

I finished creating my online profile this morning. I think it is pretty good. I had a chance to look around at some other guys and what their profiles said and that helped me think of areas I wanted to address. I only copied their structure not the actual content of their profile. I made it very clear the type of woman I want and the things that a woman would have to tolerate if she wanted to be with me. I am not looking for someone who is going to become codependent on me. I need a woman who has her own friends already and likes to go spend time with them and not have to be with me every damn second of the day. I have been in relationships where we do everything together and it always turns into shit. Distance makes the heart grow fond. I am going to be spending some time tonight going through the online dating site and sending some intro messages to various girls from Indianapolis.